"Bitter"

GQ magazine Nov. 2005 Issue

    GQ Magazine Nov. 2005 issue 1130

    In Nov. 2005 issue of GQ magazine, there is an article called "The Office Dick" by Cecil Donahue. It identifies "The Common Two-Face Slacker" with the characteristics of "odd facial piercings" and "Chinese character tattooed on back of neck".


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Etch a Mac


    http://www.etchamac.com/powerbook.php

    I would like know why someone would voluntarily pay $35+ ($35 for 3x3, $70 for 4x4 and $100 for 5x5 inches with purchase of a Powerbook) to have “All Rights Reserved” (版權所有) in Chinese etched on their Apple Powerbook.

    Does having Chinese characters etched on the Powerbook would make it any more unique than the next Joe Schmoe’s Powerbook with the exact same Chinese phrase? Also, does the potential customer even know what the phrase really mean? It could easy be "pretentious douche bag", although that would be a much entertaining choice than "All Rights Reserved".

    (Disclaimer: I don't think Apple computer users are douche bags)

    Couldn’t they come up with some creative or inspiring phrases? I mean there are literally millions of Chinese literatures to choose from.

    Here is one suggestion I have: how about just etch the owner’s contact info in case the laptop has been snatched from their local hot spot.

    Ps. Thanks to the "cult of mac" for sending it in.


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The Seven Sins

Whole-Hearted Devotion


    http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A51022/high/bmepb152472.jpg

    誠心誠意 is an old Chinese idiom that meant "in all sincerity", "with one's whole heart", or "whole-hearted devotion".

    Ironically, neither the tattooist nor the client has devoted enough effort to make sure the tattoo was done correctly.


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SNL - Tattoo Removal

Jujutsu


    http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A50910/high/bmegl129515.jpg

    One of the basic principles many martial arts share is not to flaunt. Unfortunately many students have completely disregarded this important teaching, rather brand themselves with superficial gibberish.

    Does getting 柔術 (Jujutsu or Jujitsu) tattooed on your body really enhance your martial art skill and help you to find your inner peace? Perhaps getting the correct characters tattooed would help.

    Regardless, you are now the laughing stock at your dojo (道場).


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The Four Seasons






    (thanks to Terry for the photos)

    Just because you have purchased the latest books on Feng Shui 風水 and watched way too much home make-over shows, it does not mean you have to jump onto the bandwagon. At least please consult someone first.

    Twisted “Four Seasons” 春夏秋冬, that is definitely bad Feng Shui.


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"Colorful Rat"

Upside Down "Beauty"

"Robert"


    http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A51012/high/bmepb149567.jpg

    This tattoo is the Chinese phonetic translation of the name “Robert”. It is very poorly done. All characters are disproportional and missing strokes.

    Although sometimes the clients are the ones bring in ugly or incorrect designs, I can’t imagine any respectable tattooist would display this in his/her portfolio.


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"Where To?"


    http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A51012/high/bmepb149670.jpg

    Due to the tattoo’s poor penmanship, it is very difficult to determine what the client’s original intension was.

    The tattooed character could either be 何 (what, why, where, which, how) or 向 (direction).


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Big Mistake



    This young man got two Chinese characters tattooed on his bicep and was told they meant "courage". I have posted about the exact same tattoo earlier, when I first saw it in 2003.

    The phrase 大過 means “big mistake" or "shortcoming".


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Dragon and Characters



    An U. S. Navy recruiter from Florida has emailed me these photos of tattoos on a new recruit. Since the characters were randomly chosen, therefore I am not going to spend too much trying to decipher what this piece of “skin garbage” really means. But, I am going to point out the incorrectly written characters.

    I feel like a medical examiner staring at a badly charred corpse and comparing dental records.



    The top character 黑 means “black”. It was poorly written but still somewhat recognizable. The second character 虎 (tiger) was never finished. It is missing the lower partial 几. 龍 (dragon) is poorly written, but was somewhat recognizable.



    道 (way, path) is also poorly written.



    The two character phrase 武術 means “martial arts”, but the positioning order has been reversed.


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"Knowledge" Lacking


    http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A51003/high/bmegl144560.jpg

    I don't remember if it is "good news travel in pairs" or "bad news travel in pairs", but these two have the exact same mistake in their tattoos.

    識 (recognize, understand, knowledge) in both are missing a dot at top right corner.



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French Tattoo Flash Mistakes


    http://www.tattoo-passion.com/kanji.html

    This lovely collage of mistakes is brought to you by a French website called Tattoo-Passion.com.

    臣 means "minister", not "Bouddha" (English "Buddha").

    仙 means "immortal" or "fairy", not "boxe" (English "boxing", the sport).

    蔴 or 麻 means "cannabis", not the character shown.

    魅 means "charm" or "attraction", not "demon".

    儡 means "puppet", not "destruction".

    卒 means "soldier", not "divorce".

    夕 means "evening" or "dusk", not "enfant" (English "child").

    子 means "offspring", not "esprit" (English "spirit").

    祟 is written incorrectly and it means "evil spirit". Not to be confused with 崇, which means "worship" or "idolize".

    帝 means "emperor", not "football".

    魂 means "soul" or "spirit", not "grand pere" (English "grand father").

    蛤 means "toad" or "clam", not "grenouille" (English "frog").

    私 means "private", not "illegal".

    嫉 is incorrectly written and it means "jealousy".

    刺 means "prick", not "meurtre" (English "murder").

    宗 means "ancestory", not "militaire" (English "military").

    死 is incorrectly written and it means "death".

    佛 means "buddha", not "paradis" (English "paradise").

    The ironic part is the French government is so concerned about their language, it actually dedicates an entire branch an academy on maintaining the purity of French language.


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"Body Cavity"



    One young lady's boyfriend emails me this photo and asking what the character really meant. Apparently the young lady was told by the tattooist that the character is Chinese for "magic".

    It would be "Magic", if you want to make cocaine filled balloons disappear by stuff them into your body cavity before the DEA agents arrest you at the border.

    The character 腔 has multiple meanings, and one of them is "body cavity".


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Cannabis Love


    http://www.tattooflashs.de/_private/chin_kal/thumbs/gallery_china2.htm

    The next time you decide to toke up some dope and get a tattoo in Germany or Europe in general, make sure your tattooist did not purchase his flash from one of these vendors shown above.

    愛 is upside down and the correct character for cannabis is 蔴 or 麻, not the one shown on their website.


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Excrement


    http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A51003/high/bmegl144166.jpg

    Granted the character was done correctly, but the question still remains:

    What is the purpose of having 糞 (excrement; feces) tattooed on one’s leg?

    Update: Many readers have commented about this tattoo being fake. That is NOT true. The actual work was done by Danny Fowler of Ancient Art Tattoo in Roanoke, VA.


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"Forever Family Reputation"


    The entire phrase 永遠家名誉 was tattooed upside down, plus the character 名 is missing a dot.


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"Mountain Bike"


    http://www.oma-sk.tripod.com/Tattoo_-_vaden.jpg

    單車     means "bicycle" and 過山單車 means "mountain bike". Perhaps both the client and tattooist had too many concussions resulted from mountain biking accidents.


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Firefly's "Electricity Caution" Sign


    http://barneygumble742.tripod.com/firefly_xp.htm

    Reader Norman emailed me this screen capture. The second character 電 (electricity) of this caution sign in the show Firefly is mirrored. It is also interesting to point out that in the future, spaceships will run on Microsoft Windows and don't lose those device driver disks.

    Update: I saw the movie Serenity last night. Although there were some Chinese inconsistencies throughout the movie, overall it was very good. I have to say it was definitely one of the few good Sci-Fi movies that I have enjoyed in long time.
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